The World Needs A Little Harmony
by The Colfer Who Flew
Summary: The Hummel-Hudsons aren't exactly a normal family. Kurt is a Broadway diva, Blaine is a wanna-be family member, and Finn is just Finn. Not to mention Burt and Carole. Can they handle another unusual little family member? *Collab with OhMyGagaIt'sKlaine*
1. Chapter 1

**H****i! Klaine Is My Life here! Thanks for clicking on this****! So this is a collab fic with my wonderful, amazing friend OhMyGagaIt'sKlaine. We wrote this chapter together, but from the next one on we will alternate writing each chapter. We hope to update fairly regularly, but we'll see how that goes...This story will have crack-y elements, but there is an actual storyline. Although it centers around the baby, there will be plenty of Klaine goodness, I promise. Please leave us your thoughts! It would mean a lot to us!  
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_Chapter One_

**IN WHICH BLAINE SEES A FEW THINGS HE WISHES HE HADN'T**

Finn Hudson was not bright. This was a simple fact of life in the Hummel-Hudson home. Carole, Kurt, Burt, and even Blaine had just learned to accept it. Kurt no longer questioned Finn's ugly sweater vests. And Carole learned to use Finn's stupidity as a tool for motherly purposes. (She once told Finn that eating cookies without permission would give him Hepatitis B.) And Burt finally stopped drilling Finn on Mellencamp trivia.

Kurt and Burt had both embraced Finn's stupidity. (Carole did not need to do this. She had already become accustomed to it.) Kurt and Finn would play Halo 3 and Shopping Wars together, even though Kurt claimed video games turned your mind into glop. Burt and Finn would spend hours watching ESPN sometimes. Kurt would invite Blaine over on those days. They would try on each other's bow ties during this time. But eventually they would have to leave for the mall, because Burt and Finn's whooping was much too irritating.

But no one had really prepared themselves for the statement that left Finn's lips. How could they, though? Finn was kind of unpredictable.

After watching his mom barf into the toilet, he became very worried. But of course he was upset about his mother's vomit. It was gross for one thing, but it also meant his mom was ill. The plots and possible scenarios began to form in his head, and the answer to his mother's sickness was so obvious.

So, at the dinner table that night, Finn decided to break the news. "Mom... I think you have malaria." Finn said bluntly, not expecting Kurt, Carole, and Burt's bewildered expressions.

Carole paused as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. Kurt stared, mouth agape, at Finn. Burt just scrunched his eyebrows and wondered when this boy had been dropped on his head.

"Finn... do you even know was malaria is?" Kurt asked, shooting Finn a peculiar face.

"No... But I heard it's a problem in Africa... and we just saw Lion King..." Finn reasoned, "The point is, my Mom is sick. And all of the symptoms point to Malaria. Puking, mood swings, weird cravings... the signs are there, Kurt."

Kurt sighed, "That sounds nothing like malaria, Finn. It sounds more like Carole's pregnant. But that can't be it. I mean, she's way too old."

"Kids, we have some big news." Burt intervened, knowing he and Carole had planned to deliver the good news later. But of course Finn had to suspect something like Malaria. Although Burt could see the boy's reasoning. Burt had fallen asleep at the nine o'clock showing of the Lion King, and he couldn't remember how the dad lion died. Maybe it was Malaria... geez, now that he thought about it; malaria was a little terrifying to Burt. Perhaps he would clarify with Carole that she was definitely malaria free.

"Ok. Go on!" Kurt urged, interrupting Burt's train of thought. Carole smiled nervously and took Burt's hand.

"Well...we're going to have a baby." Carole said. Kurt's jaw dropped. Finn's brows knit together, and it appeared that he was in deep thought. For Finn, anyway.

"Wait. All of us are pregnant? How does that even work?" He asked, frowning in confusion. Three heads turned to stare at him for the second time that evening. Kurt marveled at the stupidity of his step-brother. Finn continued to look puzzled. Kurt sighed; realizing neither Burt nor Carole was going to reply to Finn.

"No Finn...your mom is pregnant, the other three of us, however, are not. Understand?" Kurt said slowly, gesturing toward Carole. Finn's mouth formed an "O" in realization. Kurt rolled his eyes and snapped out of his "patient preschool teacher" personality that he often used with Finn and jumped into his "excited diva" mode instead. He turned toward Burt and Carole, who were shaking with silent laughter.

"Oh! That's amazing, you guys! I can't believe it! I haven't heard such fabulous news since I found out Lady Gaga was coming to Cleveland! How far along are you?" Kurt asked, his voice reaching even higher pitches than usual due to his elation at the thought of becoming an older brother. Visions of purple and yellow nurseries, onesies, and tiny feet swirled through his head.

"Seven-" Burt began.

"No Burt. Eight weeks." Carole interrupted.

"What? I really think it's seven."

"I am the one with something growing inside of me. I'm pretty sure I know how long it's been in here." Carole deadpanned. Kurt squealed again.

"Alright, I get full rights to planning the baby shower and nursery, right? We all know I'm the most capable person in this house for the job." Carole giggled and nodded.

"Wait, so if Mom's pregnant, then that means that her and Burt-" Finn began, his eyes widening.

"OK! Who wants dessert?" Burt said loudly, standing up.

"Ooh! Me!" Finn said, waving his hand in the air like a kindergartener. If there was one thing that distracted Finn, it was food. "Do we have chocolate ice cream?" Carole laughed nervously.

"Uh, I sort of finished it off this morning." She admitted sheepishly.

"Wait, we bought that last night." Finn said.

"Well yeah, I was really hungry and-"

"Mom! You don't even like chocolate ice cream that much! Why would you eat all of it?" Finn asked. Kurt tried to be patient with Finn, he really did. But in moments like these, it was very hard not to swat him on the head. But, being the classy person that he was, Kurt refrained.

"Finn, do you know what a craving is?" Kurt asked slowly, making sure Finn understood the question.

"Isn't that when a pregnant woman-Oh..." Finn said, smiling as everything started to make sense.

* * *

><p>Kurt, immediately after dinner, rushed upstairs to call his boyfriend and tell him the marvelous news. Blaine picked up on the third ring, like always. He would take the first one to find his phone and the second one to realize it was Kurt who was calling. Sometimes he'd answer on the fourth because he started thinking about Kurt and his perfect, yet distracting, hair.<p>

Yes, Blaine has a very short attention span when Kurt is thrown into the mix of things.

"Hey, love. I-"Blaine began, but Kurt hurried to interrupt him.

"I have the best news ever!" He squealed, not even caring how high pitched his voice had become.

Blaine gasped, nearly falling from his chair. "Lady Gaga is coming to Cleveland again? Kurt we have to get tickets!"

"I never thought I'd say this, but my news is better than that!"

"KATY PERRY IS COMING TO CLEVELAND?"

"No... That news wouldn't be nearly as good." Kurt rolled his eyes. As much as he appreciated Katy Perry for introducing him to Blaine with Teenage Dream, he found her songs tacky and slightly dumb. But he'd never tell Blaine that. It'd break the poor boy's heart to learn Kurt hated his idol.

"We're getting married?" Blaine offered.

"Aw!" Kurt smiled. (Yes, no one could see his teeth. So what?) "Sadly, no. Well, not yet. However, this news _is _a family milestone.

"Please don't tell me you're pregnant..." Blaine's eyes widened. He hadn't even been to Kansas, home of the tornado that took Dorothy to Oz, yet! He wasn't prepared to be a father.

"You're getting closer..." Kurt slyly grinned.

Kurt fell into his fluffy vanity seat, popping the cap of his moisturizer off. He lathered his face in the green crème, closing his eyes and listening to Blaine's voice and trying to match his words with different expressions. Kurt adored the way Blaine's eyebrows furrowed or his lips curved into a dreamy smile.

"We're adopting? Wait, am _I_ pregnant? Kurt, this isn't good. I mean, we're both men."

"Oh my Gaga!" Kurt said, exasperated as he slammed the cap back onto the moisturizer bottle, and snapped him away from his peaceful reverie. "No, Blaine. Carole is pregnant!"

There were various crashing noises pouring from Kurt's phone. He became concerned when he heard the loud thumps. He might have heard a hiss or two, also.

"Blaine? Honey? Are you ok? Did you trip?" Kurt asked, worried Blaine had been climbing on furniture again.

Kurt heard the rustle of papers and, perhaps, Blaine swearing some off-color words. He thought he picked up "paper cut" somewhere in there too.

Blaine's voice was far off in the distance, "This is great Kurt! Oh, I'm so excited!"

Kurt squealed quite unmanly like, but frankly, he didn't care. "I know! I'm going to be a big brother!" Kurt thought for a moment, worried for his boyfriend. "But could you come back to the phone? You're worrying me."

"I can't! I dropped it out of giddiness... and now I can't find it."

"Oh, Blaine... cut down on the coffee. You know what, just come over here. That way I can be sure of your well-being." Kurt smiled slightly, thinking of being around Blaine.

"I'll be there as soon as I can!" Blaine said hurriedly, but added, "I love you so much, Kurt."

Kurt chuckled slightly, "I love you too." There was a long silence as Kurt held the phone to his ear. "Um... hello? Ok, I'm going to hang up now."

Kurt could hear Blaine's brother, whom he'd never actually met but heard of from various stories Blaine had told him, shout from another room, "Mom! Dad! Blaine had someone in his room!"

Kurt's eyes grew wide as he practically punched the end button.

* * *

><p>It wasn't long after Kurt called and told the great news to Blaine that he arrived promptly at the Hummel-Hudson door. In fact, it was only ten minutes. The trip would have normally taken an hour, but Blaine was excited. And Blaine got reckless when excited.<p>

And in this case, "promptly arriving at the Hummel-Hudson door" means thrusting said door open with all of his might, nearly knocking down every wall fixture in the house, and bellowing, "Where's the baby momma?".

Kurt sprinted down the steps- elegantly, mind you- and gave Blaine the best diva-stare he could muster. "Blaine Anderson, did you speed in order to get here? Because I don't know how else you could've gotten here so quickly. I do not want you getting into a car wreck, Anderson."

Finn, who was confoundedly staring at the microwave because he had forgotten how to use it, murmured 'hi' to Blaine.

"Oh, hi Finn!" Blaine said jovially as he floated into the kitchen, completely disregarding Kurt's badgering. "I've arranged data sheets explaining the typical symptoms of pregnancy, and what symptoms Carole is most likely to experience. And I made lists of materials we'll need in order to provide the utmost luxury during the pregnancy." If Kurt wasn't so irritated with Blaine, he would've thought Blaine's eager expression was adorable.

"Blaine! Honey, you could've have really hurt yourself." Kurt pouted as he followed his boyfriend.

Blaine draped an arm around Kurt's shoulders, "I'm sorry, Pancake."

"Don't call me that." Kurt deadpanned. Pancake was evidently a touchy subject. Blaine decided to ask Kurt about that later tonight during their ritual nightly Skype session. It had been during one of these video chats that Kurt learned Blaine owned a pair of footie pajamas. And just when he thought his little nerd boyfriend couldn't get any cuter...

Finn glowered at the microwave beseechingly, wishing it would spring to life so he could concoct a gourmet frozen dinner. Even though he'd already eaten dinner, Finn was famished. Besides, he had received big news today. He was allowed to indulge.

But, apparently, he wouldn't get to celebrate his new baby sibling because his microwave was stupid. What an inconsiderate piece of kitchen appliance.

Carole appeared in the kitchen, now wearing her maternity top with pride. Kurt made a mental note to design her some new shirts. Perhaps he'd use his bedazzler also... Kurt mumbled something about a project and hurriedly dashed to his room.

"Finn, are you trying to use the microwave again?" Carole asked, exasperated.

"Oh no, Carole. You need to be resting!" Blaine directed Carole to the couch, leaving a desperate Finn behind. He was just so hungry... and oh-so-confused about the operating of a microwave.

"Blaine, sweetie that's really kind of you, but-"

"No. You're having a wonderful baby! And I want to make sure this little child grows up healthy, happy, and very smart; very like his or her brother, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel." Blaine stated, fishing his data sheets from his messenger bag. He handed them to Carole, grinning like he was ten years younger than his actual age.

"Oh, thank you, Blaine." Carole chimed, realizing how endearing Blaine's antics were.

"I've arranged for the purchase of your groceries and supplies. Kurt and I are going shopping for them tomorrow." Blaine pretended like he was helping Carole by assisting in the shopping, but it was really just a ploy to spend more time with Kurt.

"Why, thank you, Blaine!" Carole said, thankful. She really liked this boy. Blaine made Kurt really happy and, to be honest, he was making Carole quite happy right now.

"Is there anything you need?" Blaine asked Carole courteously.

"Well, I'd really appreciate it if you could bring me my slippers. If you ask Kurt, he should be able to tell you where they are." Carole said, knowing Blaine would be happy to see Kurt for a moment.

Blaine was internally chirping "oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, a task!", but on the outside he remained calm and simply nodded.

Blaine bounded up the steps happily, readjusting his purple bow tie. (After all, he rarely left the house without one of those amazingly dapper accessories.)

Blaine opened the door soundlessly; not wanting to distract Kurt if he was working on something.

But Blaine most definitely was not expecting what he saw.

Kurt had apparently disliked the outfit he had been wearing before, and wished to change. (Blaine had no problem with this. Kurt switched outfits often in the fall. He had so many different outfits planned, but there weren't enough days to wear them all.) So now Kurt wore only boxers. And he was dancing… and singing.

"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground!" Kurt sang lightly, but loud enough for Blaine to hear it.

And hear it, Blaine did.

So Blaine, wide eyed and most likely scarred for the rest of his life, slowly backed out of the room. It wasn't like he thought Kurt looked unappealing in with his pants on the ground, Blaine just felt like he witnessed something private and special to Kurt… not to mention slightly creepy.

If Kurt ever found out about this, Blaine would never hear the end of it. What if Kurt got mad at him for invading his privacy? And... What if Kurt started putting little obnoxious orange post-it notes all over the place that read 'KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING'? Blaine would be constantly reminded of the incident. He loved Kurt, but sometimes that boy was more diva than anything else. It really scared Blaine.

Blaine decided to return to Carole and act like Kurt was too immersed in his work to reply to Blaine's question about Carole's slippers.

Blaine got downstairs in time to hear Carole screaming deafeningly at Finn. Blaine speculated this was the pregnancy hormones kicking in. He was thankful he had brushed up on his _W__hat to Expect When You're __Expecting_ books_. _He just had the entire collection lying around... underneath his pillow.

"YOU NEVER STOP EATING, FINN! I PREPARE YOU MEAL AFTER MEAL! AND YOU JUST EAT AND EAT! YOU'RE GOING TO BE FAT!" Carole yelled in Finn's face, her face boiling with anger.

Finn looked down at his shoes for a moment, but then lifted his gaze to meet Carole's. In a small voice he asked, "You think I'm fat?" He whimpered, his bottom lip forming into a sad little pout.

Carole's top lips trembled; she could no longer contain the outburst. "I still love you!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Finn comfortingly. They both began to sob erratically.

Carole and Finn stayed in that position, embracing and occasionally saying something particularly heartfelt. Blaine would've found it beautiful, but he wasn't really in the mood to be mesmerized my family bonds. He had just witnessed the love of his life rapping in nothing but boxers.

Blaine, so utterly scared of this family, walked briskly into Burt's "office", which was really just a place for Burt to watch Desperate Housewives in peace. Blaine often joined him. They'd both act as if they were merely working on data for the shop, but Burt and Blaine were secretly catching up on their favorite show. Oh, it was sneaky alright. Blaine always felt rebellious when he sat down with Burt to watch the girls' latest capers. Perhaps it could even distract him from the weirdness of the previous five minutes, or so.

"Hey, Blaine." Burt greeted, patting the seat on the couch. "You look pale."

"Yeah… rough day." Blaine said, still a little shaken up from the Kurt dance number, not to mention the Carole and Finn emotional moment.

"Same here… Finn somehow got me worried about Carole and malaria." Burt said, realigning his baseball cap.

"Kurt introduced me to a new kind of music… and clothing style. And Carole and Finn looked like something from Full House on crystal meth."

"Can't choose family." Burt shrugged and whipped out the remote to start episode five.

By the end of the day, Kurt was obliviously designing maternity clothing for Carole and humming to himself, Carole and Finn were eating marshmallow paste together, and Burt and Blaine were cuddling as they watched Desperate Housewives.

This child's life was, without a doubt, going to be odd.

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews are the rainbow to our sky!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

**IN WHICH FINN IS STABBED WITH A FORK... WELL, ALMOST**

Kurt almost cried at the sight of his boyfriend.

Blaine was curled up into a tight ball in his car. His face was twisted into a pained expression. Blaine's complexion was about the same pale shade as Kurt's, a few tears were hanging on the tips of his eyelashes, and a few coughs had riveted his body.

"Blaine, baby, what hurts?" Kurt asked, climbing into the driver's seat.

"My throat," Blaine began, his voice gravelly, "and my stomach." He closed his eyes tightly for a moment, grasping onto the material of Kurt's soft jacket that was adorned with a variety of buttons, "Especially my stomach." He wheezed.

"That Italian Wedding Soup probably made you sick." Kurt sighed.

Finn, Blaine, Kurt, Carole, and Burt all met up at Breadstix to celebrate Carole's pregnancy. Blaine had been distracted by his boyfriend's skinny jeans and flawless face, so when the waitress padded over to them, Blaine had no idea what he wanted to order. He just sputtered out the first thing he saw, which had been Italian Wedding Soup. No one orders Italian Wedding Soup anymore; therefore the cooks would obviously screw it up. And they did, and now Blaine was practically dying.

"Just go home with Burt, Carole, and Finn. I can drive myself home, Kurt_._"

"Wait, to your home-home?" Kurt asked. Blaine spent enough time at Kurt's house to call it home. It always gave Kurt these weird little tingly feelings in his stomach when Blaine referred to the Hummel-Hudson residence as home. However, they went to the Anderson home when they wanted some privacy. "Blaine your parents aren't home! You'd have to be your own nurse."

"What do you think I did before when my parents were gone?" Blaine croaked.

Kurt could picture a frail, fourteen year old Blaine, who was fixing his own chicken noodle soup and preparing his own thermometer. "That's terrible, Blaine! You're going to the Hummel-Hudson home immediately." Kurt demanded. He was determined to provide Blaine with proper care.

"I don't want to get Carole sick."

"Blaine, you know she won't care. Now c'mon, we're going to my house." And Kurt's tone made Blaine agree immediately.

Finn stumbled into the kitchen. He stood a little gawkily.

When Blaine had gotten home, Carole and Kurt had rushed him onto the couch. They gave Finn a pointed look, told him to get some Motrin or Tylenol, and then returned to fawning over Blaine. Finn sent a look that said "where the heck is the medicine?", and Burt just shrugged and sat down in a recliner.

Why was it that Carole was the only person who could find things in this house? Well, Kurt and Blaine were pretty good with that stuff. Maybe it was just him and Burt who were challenged in this topic.

So Finn started opening every single cabinet. This was difficult, considering some was too full and the items would spill out. Around the third cabinet, Finn realized they had all been labeled.

"Hurry up, Finn!" Kurt snapped, nearly sprinting past the kitchen to grab a moist toilette from his room.

Finn grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and filled a cup with water. He praised himself for a moment before he hurriedly handed the items to Carole.

"You look terrible, Blaine." Finn said bluntly, noticing how sick Blaine really looked.

Blaine laughed, despite how much it hurt his stomach, "Thanks, Finn."

Finn beamed; happy he and Blaine were on good terms now. Kurt hadn't talked to him for at least three days after he had snapped at Blaine for wearing a bow tie to school four times in a row.

"Okay, Blaine, I have all of you favorite movies here. I even found Muppets from Space in Finn's room!" Kurt said happily, placing a pile of movies on the coffee table.

Blaine did that head-tilt that meant "oh hey... I think I figured something out" and his eyes got really soft. He almost told Kurt he loved him, but that would be kind of a weird thing to do in front of Kurt's entire family. So he just said thank you.

But as people kept on talking, Blaine found things much harder to understand.

"Where is Blaine going to sleep?" Finn asked, suddenly realizing they hadn't sorted this matter our yet.

"Well, he'll obviously be sleeping in my room." Kurt sounded defiant.

Burt shot up from the soft material of his chair, "Absolutely not!"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Dad, he's sick! Nothing is going to happen."

Finn, being the helpful big brother he is, decided to put his opinion out there in the open. "Yeah, Blaine should sleep in Kurt's room. They wouldn't do anything anyway. I mean, there are two dudes." Finn said this seriously, for he was unaware of the pamphlets underneath Kurt's bed.

Kurt turned viciously towards Finn, shooting him his scariest stare yet. But Carole didn't have time to scold Finn; and Finn didn't have time to make himself scarce before Blaine started giggling hysterically.

Muffled slightly from being shoved in the cushions came Blaine's singing voice, "_I Will Survive! As long as I know how to love I know I will survive!" _

"Blaine-"

_"Gaga-ooh-la-la, want your bad romance!" _Blaine sang again, completely interrupting Kurt.

"Finn, what did you give Blaine?" Carole asked Finn, gazing over at Blaine broke into a rendition of Adele's "Rumor Has It".

Finn's eyes widened a little. He could have accidentally given Blaine the wrong medicine. Kurt was already mad at him for his previous comment, and if Kurt found out about this... Oh god, the browser history! He must have grabbed the wrong pill bottle. This was bad. Finn's life was at stake here. Kurt would surely show Carole the browser history, and there was some crazy stuff on that browser history.

"N-no I'm positive I gave him Tylenol. He probably has some weird reaction to it. You know, I think Rachel has that reaction with Advil." Finn mentally slapped himself. Kurt and Rachel were friends now. What if Kurt asked her about that? "Maybe it was Tina. I'm not sure."

Kurt sighed, "Oh no. Loopy Blaine won't be good..."

"He's still not sleeping in your room." Burt grumbled, glaring at the T.V. screen.

Abruptly, Blaine stopped singing. He pulled his head from the couch. "Kurt..." He whimpered, sounded genuinely scared. "I don't like Lady Gaga. Are you going to break up with me?"

Kurt laughed a little, "Then why were you singing one of her songs? And of course I won't break up with you."

Blaine nodded happily, ignoring Kurt's first question.

Finn left the room to get a sandwich. He need time to breathe. The browser history was still looming threateningly over his head.

"He's sleeping on the couch." Burt huffed.

"Burt, really? Sweetie, give Kurt some credit. Besides, I'm a very light sleeper." Carole said to Burt.

He sighed, a little unconvinced.

"I'll make you steak." Carole deadpanned.

"You make a valid point, Carole. Blaine will be sleeping in Kurt's room tonight." Burt said, happy with himself as he flipped the channels to the nearest football game.

"Carole, are you going to have baby boy or a baby girl? What if the baby comes out green? Hey, Kurt! Kurt! Hey, Kurt! Did you know my favorite color is green?" Blaine rambled, laying face-down on the couch with his head poked to the side so he could make eye contact with Kurt and Carole.

"Blaine, you're favorite color is navy blue." Kurt said, "You told me last week."

"Hey Kurt! Kurt! Hey!" Blaine jiggled excitedly, hoping for Kurt to pay attention to him.

"What?" Kurt said. He'd been staring at Blaine the whole time the curly headed boy had been calling for him.

"Will you come sit with me?" He pouted, "I'm cold."

Kurt smiled warmly, remembering Blaine was sick. "Yes, Blaine." He sat down on the couch, Blaine scooting over to give Kurt room. But Blaine did end up putting his head in Kurt's lap.

Maybe this whole loopy Blaine thing wasn't such a bad thing.

Finn, carrying a sandwich in hand, sauntered back into the room. He'd managed to regain a normal breathing pattern and was perfectly fine now. Carole had to restrain herself from pointing out that they had just had dinner.

"Hey! The Wildcats are playing?" Finn shoveled the sandwich into his mouth as he asked this.

Blaine became tense. He apprehensively cast a glance at the towering boy. He blinked twice up at Finn. And then he was jumping from his seat and screaming.

"IT'S BIGFOOT!" Blaine yelled, running the opposite direction and into the kitchen.

"Blaine?" Kurt called.

It took Carole, Kurt, Burt, and Finn two seconds to realize they'd have to run after the boy and catch him.

So the Hummel-Hudsons chased Blaine all around the house. Soon enough, they'd made a complete circle and ended up _back _into the kitchen. Finn had grabbed a butterfly net somewhere along the way, hoping he'd catch Blaine with it. And Burt had lost his baseball cap. Burt had wanted to run back and grab it Indiana Jones style, but Kurt snapped at him to stop lollygagging. The entire time Blaine had been convinced Finn was Bigfoot, and he was trying to harm him.

"No, Bigfoot!" Blaine grabbed Kurt and pushed him behind his back. "You won't hurt me _or_ my boyfriend!"

"I'm not bigfoot!" Finn protested.

Kurt noticed Blaine had a fork in his hand. Blaine pulled back his hand to stab Finn with the utensil, but Finn reached for Blaine's arm just in time. The whole sequence had been very action movie like. You know... if the characters were on loopy medicine and thought the other character was a large mythical beast.

"Dude! I'm Finn, not Bigfoot!"

Blaine stared at Finn for a moment. He hung his head in shame, and then collapsed into a heap on the floor. He began to sob and clutch onto Kurt's pant leg.

"I'm so sorry!" He heaved, "Finn is Finn! He's not Bigfoot! And I m-made Carole run when she is pregnant!" He sputtered, "I'm s-so mean!"

Kurt watched his boyfriend weep, huddled into a ball on the floor. Blaine looked so helpless. He continued to plead for Carole and Finn's forgiveness, but never let go of Kurt's leg. He knew exactly what to do, considering he had practically memorized Blaine's list of favorite movies and soothing drinks.

"Carole, go lay down." Kurt murmured as he helped Blaine back to his feet. "I can handle this. Finn and Burt, go watch the game or give Carole a foot message."

Finn, Burt, and Carole all hesitantly agreed after assuring Kurt was okay with caring for Blaine. And soon enough, Kurt and assisted Blaine up the steps. He did, however, return to the family room to gather Blaine's favorite movies.

But, Blaine refused to sleep in Kurt's room. He insisted that they slept in the baby's room.

"But Kurt! The room is pretty like you!" He had said while attempting to stroke Kurt's hair.

So, soon enough, the two of them were snuggled together on the carpet. Kurt had bought a television for the room earlier. It didn't have cable yet, but it matched the room's color scheme perfectly.

Kurt ran his hands through Blaine's hair. It was messy and tousled and _curly. _Kurt had experienced curly Blaine twice. The first time had been during the summer when they had gone to the pool. (Shirtless Blaine plus curly Blaine... well, it didn't work out to well for Kurt's self-control. They ended up hopping into Blaine's car to "practice".) The second time being during the You Make My Dreams Come True/I Can't Go For That mash-up. Needless to say, the rare curly headed Blaine was extremely exciting.

Blaine smiled contentedly. "I really don't know what I'm going to do when you go to New York... I'm not sure what we're going to do either."

"Wait, what?" Kurt asked, not realizing Blaine had thought about _Kurt and Blaine _as a _long distance couple. _Kurt had just been avoiding the topic and refusing to think about it. Was Blaine worried?

But Kurt didn't have the chance to ask him, for Blaine was fast asleep in Kurt's lap.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: OK... so this is OhMyGagaIt'sKlaine. I am a huge procrastinator. Like, <strong>_**huge. **_**And I feel terrible for making you guys wait so long to read this chapter. I promise, I will be more faithful to my FanFiction writing. I swear it on Chris Colfer's adorableness.**

**Review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

**IN WHICH KURT FINDS OUT HE'S DATING "THE LESSER ANDERSON BROTHER"**

"What on _earth_ are you watching, Finn?" Kurt asked in horror. He'd seen Finn do some pretty weird and disturbing things, but this? Finn yelped and jabbed the power button on the remote.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing! I'm just-um, I'm texting Rachel!" He rambled, whipping out his phone and moving his fingers across the screen erratically as if they were his uncoordinated feet.

"You're not texting Rachel. You don't like texting Rachel, because she always nags at you for using texting lingo. Also, I saw you turn off the TV, _and_ what was on it." He replied. Kurt did love to be right. This was the one of those times when he was grateful for the fact that Rachel told him every detail of her relationship with Finn.

"How do you-Oh, please don't tell anyone!" Finn begged. Kurt gave his step-brother a look of pity.

"Alright, I won't tell anyone that you enjoy watching little girls scream at their mothers and twirl around in purple tutus with way too much makeup. Your _Toddlers And Tiaras_ obsession is safe with

me." Kurt said.

"Cool man, thanks." Finn said in relief. He smiled at Kurt and turned the TV back on. Kurt just turned on his heel towards the kitchen, hoping to find some form of sanity there. But as he stepped through the alcove, he was again disappointed.

Crayons of every color were spread across the table and Carole was feverishly scribbling.

"There's no point in drawing a boy, Carole. It's definitely going to be a girl." Burt was saying. Carole ignored him and grabbed a blue crayon.

"The baby is inside of _me. _I can feel that it's a boy." She replied smugly, patting her stomach.

"No! It's gonna be a girl!"

"Actually, the baby-" Kurt cut Carole off with a loud clearing of his throat.

"You guys do know that the ultrasound isn't until Thursday, right? There's no way to prove the gender of this baby."

"Oh yeah, I can't prove it, but it's obviously going to be a girl. I mean, just look at this drawing I did! It looks so realistic and baby-Hummel-Hudson-girl-like." Burt said. He held up a paper for Kurt. He was a bit afraid of what he might see, considering Burt had really never been an artist.

"Dad, that is just a horrendous depiction of me as a baby. With a bow in my hair. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's exactly the same as the bow tie I wore yesterday." Burt frowned.

"Kurt! See mine? It's way better than Burt's." Carole bragged. Kurt looked down at her picture.

"It's better than Burt's, but it's still not exactly a Van Gogh." He decided.

"But...I worked so hard on it." Carole looked at Kurt forlornly.

"I still say mine is better!" Burt argued. Kurt just stared at the pair for a few moments, and then spoke.

"Ok, this is just getting ridiculous. You two have _got_ to get out of this house. Um, why don't we go crib shopping? " Kurt clapped his hands together.

He just hadn't had the patience to wait to know the baby's gender before choosing the nursery's color scheme, so there was mint green and periwinkle paint on the room's walls. Kurt had been longing to put some furniture in there ever since he found himself curled up on the floor in there with a very sick Blaine. The fact that he had been cuddling with Blaine had made it more cozy, but it still wasn't exactly comfortable. Some furniture shopping was necessary.

"Ooh, that sounds fun! Let's go, let's go!" Carole exclaimed, getting up and throwing all the crayons back into their box.

"Wait, wait, I think Blaine wants an opinion, I'm going to go call him." Kurt said. In truth, Blaine had never expressed interest in crib shopping, but he knew Blaine was really enthusiastic about this baby. And anyway, Kurt missed his boyfriend and needed an excuse to spend time with him.

"Ooh, I love Blaine! Yeah, let's bring him!" Carole replied brightly. Kurt smiled at his hyper step-mother.

"Dad, please make sure she doesn't fall while she's flailing." Kurt didn't know if it was the excitement of having another child or maybe they were just children inside, but Kurt often questioned the sanity of his guardians. Burt nodded and Kurt went off to find his phone.

* * *

><p>After Kurt called Blaine, Burt managed to calm Carole down, and Kurt got rid of those dreadful drawings, the trio piled into the car. Blaine had decided to drive himself. (Car rides with Burt were often awkward due to Blaine's constant need to gush over his boyfriend, and sometimes Carole would randomly start sobbing. He preferred to avoid those situations.)<p>

Soon, the family pulled up in front of Finch Furniture and got out. Blaine suddenly leapt from behind a tree and hugged Kurt.

"Hi Kurt!" Blaine chirped. He then realized Burt was looking at him uncomfortably, and gingerly stepped away from Kurt. " Oh, um, hi Burt and Carole." He then began to ramble, as he often did when he was nervous. "I'm so glad I get to help with this! After all, the baby's crib is such an important part of their life! And since Kurt here is such an amazing decorator, the crib needs to fit perfectly with the room theme." Blaine smiled a thousand-watt smile. On anyone else it would be extremely fake, but Blaine made it completely genuine. Carole stifled a giggle. She really hoped Blaine would be around for a while. And judging by the way Kurt looked at him, she was pretty sure he would be.

Eager to see what the store had to offer, they recovered from the shock of Blaine and walked in. (Well, Burt and Carole walked. Blaine pranced, and Kurt speed-walked to keep up with the younger boy.) Everyone took in their surroundings and immediately zeroed in on their favorite crib.

"Look at that nice pink one." Burt gestured to a rose-colored crib with a teddy bear ballerina painted on the back. Carole took one look and shook her head.

"_Burt_, the baby is a boy. We're getting a blue crib." She said patiently, as if talking to a stubborn three-year-old. Blaine gasped.

"It's a boy? Why didn't you tell me? Kuuuuurrrrrtttt!" He whined. Kurt closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

"No Blaine, sweetie. We don't know the gender of the baby yet. Burt and Carole are just childishly quarreling about it. Ignore the boy/girl talk." Blaine nodded in understanding.

"Gotcha." Blaine saw that Kurt had his moisturizer-softened hands full with his parents, so made a conscious effort to calm down after that. Kurt began to steer Burt and Carole towards gender neutral cribs. As Kurt examined the quality of a cherry wood one, Carole suddenly groaned.

"What's wrong, honey?" Burt asked.

"Oh, just a craving. I really, _really _want some Snapple Jelly Belly jelly beans. So much." Carole said, looking at Burt intensely. He smiled at her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, we don't have any. But I'm sure we can get you some one of these days." Suddenly, Carole's eyes turned dark and serious.

"_Burt_. I_ need _Snapple Jelly Bellies. _Now." _ Burt took a few steps back and tapped Kurt on the shoulder, quickly explaining the situation. Kurt quickly agreed for the safety of everyone.

"Ok, Carole, Kurt and Blaine are going to get you some." Burt said. Carole smiled triumphantly and pushed Kurt and Blaine toward the door.

"You know what, why don't we just go home now? I don't think Kurt trusts us to pick a crib ourselves anyway." Burt suggested. He really didn't want to be alone with Carole in a store until she had her jelly beans. But he didn't need to suggest that, considering Carole was already halfway across the parking lot. Burt now stood alone in the store. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of absent-mindedness, and followed his wife.

* * *

><p>Kurt looked at Blaine expectantly, waiting for him to unlock the car. Blaine just stared straight ahead.<p>

"Um, Blaine? Are we going to go in?" Kurt asked. Blaine looked down at his capri pants.

"I _really_ don't like Rite Aid, Kurt." Blaine shuddered and the other boy gave him an odd look.

"Well, I'm sorry, sweetie, but this is the only place in town that sells Snapple Jelly Bellies. And if we come home empty handed..." He trailed off.

"She'll hang us by our toenails in our sleep?" Blaine finished bluntly.

"Ew! No, she'll just cry for a while...by which I mean three hours." Kurt wasn't joking, either. Blaine sighed.

"Well...ok. But can we make it quick?" He finally undid his seatbelt, unlocked the car and got out, Kurt quickly following suit. But when they got to the door, Blaine stopped again. Kurt raised his eyebrows.

"Are you ready to go into the treacherous Rite Aid, Blaine?" He asked sarcastically. Blaine waved him off and allowed Kurt to pull him inside.

Standing at the counter was a tall, man with a smug smile, light brown, slightly curly hair and bushy eyebrows. The man looked over at them and gave them an interested look before walking over.

"Well if it isn't the curly-haired, short, and overall lesser Anderson brother." The man said casually. Blaine hit himself in the forehead.

"Oh my Gandolf..." He muttered. The man looked amused. Kurt was very, very puzzled.

"Uh...hello? I'm Kurt. Who are you?" He asked, straight-forward. The man smirked and Blaine exhaled deeply.

"He's-" Blaine began. The man interrupted.

"I'm Blaine's superior brother, Vincent. I'm the _assistant manager _of this fine establishment." He replied proudly. Kurt frowned. Blaine's _brother? _Kurt had never met him before, and Blaine hadn't really said much about him. Kurt could sort of see why.

"It's Rite Aid." Kurt pointed out. As Vincent opened his mouth to reply snarkily, Blaine cut in.

"Let's just get the jelly beans." He said. Vincent scoffed.

"I'd _like _to meet your boyfriend, Blaine. You talk enough about him. 'Oh, Kurt looked so cute in his cashmere bow tie.' and 'Ooh, Kurt is so supermegafoxy-" He mocked in a high voice. Blaine interrupted yet again. This seemed to be a pattern with the brothers.

"Ok, that's enough chitchat. Let's go, Kurt." He said gruffly. Vincent rolled his eyes.

"Um...ok. Nice meeting you Vincent...I think." Kurt was so very confused by this interaction. They headed toward the candy aisle, and as soon as Vincent was out of earshot, Kurt spoke.

"Oh sweet mother of gaga, _that_ was the guy I heard on the phone."

"What? When?" Blaine asked. Kurt had talked to his irritating brother before? This was worse than he thought.

"Never mind." Kurt said. He glanced around the aisle, looking for another subject. "Hey look Blaine, Redvines!" He exclaimed, holding up a package of the licorice. Blaine shook his head.

"I _don't _like Redvines!"

* * *

><p>In the next four days, Carole got and promptly devoured her jelly beans ("YESSSS! YUM!"), Kurt found a pretty wooden crib ("See? Perfect. Classy, gender-neutral, and reasonably priced."), Burt improved his depiction of a baby Hummel-Hudson (Can't you see this drawing coming to life?), and Blaine chewed out his brother for freaking out Kurt. ("Now he'll never want to marry me if he has to inherit you!") It was now Wednesday night. Kurt finally succumbed to Burt and Carole's contagious excitement and would randomly squeal in anticipation. Even Finn had bragged about the baby in Glee club, leading to Brittany suggesting that they name him or her Budweiser. Kurt had promptly patted her on the head for trying so hard and mentally ignored her suggestion. Naming this child was going to take some serious thinking.<p>

The next afternoon, Burt, Carole, Finn, and Kurt were on their way to the clinic when Finn had an idea.

Kurt had been singing along to "Don't You" on the radio, grinning for some reason, and Finn was tired of listening to Kurt's incredible voice, so he suggested a diva-off.

"Really, Finn? Are you _sure _you're not gay?" Kurt said skeptically. Finn frowned and nodded quickly. "Ok, fine, I accept your challenge. Song?" Kurt asked. Carole switched the station just then, and the opening chords of "The Climb" started. Kurt smirked and began singing, followed by Finn trying to match his pitch. Carole covered her ears. It seemed that once again, Finn had given them a terrible idea.

Much to everyone's relief, they arrived at the clinic shortly after Kurt and Finn's disastrous diva-off. Soon Burt and Carole were ushered into the room where the ultrasound process would happen.

"Hi Burt and Carole, nice to see you again." Dr. Wu said pleasantly. He looked down at his purple clipboard and smiled. "Well let's get started then."

* * *

><p>"This is outstanding!" Kurt exclaimed. "I can't wait to tell Blaine!"<p>

"Yes, well, let's let the news sink in for us first." Carole said cheerily, bouncing in her seat a little. Burt simply sat silently in the driver's seat, smiling to himself as he drove along. The car was filled to the brim with excitement and eagerness about the newest addition to the Hummel-Hudsons. No one could fathom how they were going to wait the next five months with this wonderful piece of news on their minds.

* * *

><p><strong>Here's Klaine Is My Life! Cliffhanger! Any guesses on the baby's gender and name? I ate Snapple Jelly Bellies while writing this. Be jealous. So, I'm sorry this took so long, I take my time trying to get everything to sound right. Did it sound right? You should tell me in a REVIEW! Seriously, we'd love some feedback. Good or bad. Thanks for reading! :)<strong>


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